Remember to take baby steps. There is no reason to rush something major like a trip to Miami.
Your threats to the other bar-goers would have seemed a lot more frightening if your Vespa hadn’t stalled while you were trying to race away.
Whatever else happens this week, you should not miss the Taurus Summer Blowout Sale, going on right now.
You will learn that he whom the gods would destroy, the gods first treat to a whole bunch of delicious pancakes.
Three wonders will you see this week: seven falling stars, a rainbow ’round the moon, and a person drinking Stoli Vanilla whom you don’t want to hit.
There are things that people weren’t meant to know. In spite of what you think, however, that doesn’t include everything.
Although you’ve certainly slept your way somewhere, no one would ever mistake it for the top.
You will magically transform yourself from the nice lady in human resources to the bad girl of goat porn.
The “astronomers” say Mars is now closer to Earth than it will be for 60,000 years, but you know it’s really rising in Sagittarius.
Take heart: The worst is over. Nevertheless, the fact remains that “life as normal” is nothing to write home about.
The fairness of destiny isn’t ours to judge, but if you feed hot sauce to a Rottweiler, you deserve everything you get.
A little hard work never hurt anyone—unless, like you, they were trying to move 16 beef sides off an assembly line during a runaway meat-warehouse fire.
