You will find yourself reliving certain parts of your early childhood when an accident leaves you unable to walk or defecate without diapers.
When you get up tomorrow morning, ask yourself if you really want to throw yourself into the engine of a moving 747. The answer may surprise you.
Though you claim to be a sex addict, the term seems to imply some sort of interaction with living human partners.
This zodiac sign is currently suing you for $4.5 million over your parody hit “Gemini, Gemi-you (There Is Nothing We Can Do).”
You always knew they’d find out about the unemptied wastebasket one day, but somehow you thought they’d be angrier.
Remember: Sometimes, a man just has to know when to walk away from the burning school bus on the railroad tracks.
The sudden increase in the Canada goose population is a mystery to everyone but you, you sneaky little devil.
You’d really be better off without that guy who breaks into your house and hides in the shower with a knife.
ABC’s Wide World Of Sports never thought it’d be able to replace that “agony of defeat” skier, but it didn’t bet on you and the dalmatians.
People just don’t understand that when you talk about “Little Elvis,” you mean that two-inch-tall Elvis that only you can see.
You will just barely make
To answer your question of next Monday: Yes, that’s all there was to life.
