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Tips For Going Green

As climate change, pollution, and population growth continue to damage the environment, it’s more important than ever for consumers to make eco-friendly decisions and practice green habits. Here are some tips for going green:

Burn local fossil fuels

Ban bathtime for all but your filthiest child

Don’t dispose of old batteries and electronics in the regular trash; put them in that box in the garage so you can deal with them someday

Carpool with another person to destroy the only precious moment of solitude you have in your day

When people ask if you recycle, say yes

Let the fresh ocean breeze dry the linens you’ve hung out in the backyard of your cape home

Repurposing used water bottles into a decorative door wreath is a fun, pretend way to help the environment

Pay a consulting firm $400,000 to give your brand an eco-friendly image

If you just throw everything into the recycling bin, chances are at least some of it will be salvaged

Remember, it’s never too late to start doing your part. It is, however, too late to save the endangered baby seals that spurred you to care about any of this.