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Tracking Ebola In The U.S.

With eight confirmed cases of the highly fatal Ebola virus in the U.S. and revelations that health care workers potentially exposed to it have traveled on passenger flights and cruise ships, fears that the disease will spread across the country have grown. Here is an up-to-date map that can help you track the proliferation of Ebola across the United States:

Location where faith in the U.S. health system’s preparedness passed away on Oct. 8

CDC headquarters: Researchers working around the clock on an experimental press statement

Official CDC quarantine zone

Airspace that plane carrying Ebola-infected nurse traveled cordoned off up to 38,000 feet

Future location of Incineration Pit 17B

Man lying about his travel history to get past customs screening

Ebola czar Ron Klain carefully loading single bullet into revolver

Mechanics working nonstop to tune up CDC’s corpse bulldozers

Byram, MS: Ebola virion chased out of town by angry mob

Just enough Ebola serum for Sheldon Adelson, Richard Branson, Koch brothers, and their respective families

Severely symptomatic man who thankfully only has highly fatal yellow fever

Taylor Allderdice High School: Hasn’t been cancelled yet or anything. Sucks.

Newspaper with headline “Ebola Outbreak Hits America!” being blown along vacant Manhattan streets

Site that will be referred to by the roving post-epidemic tribes as “the darkness lands”

CEO of hazmat suit manufacturer Lakeland Industries going to sleep with huge smile on his face

1,000 more men, women, and children diagnosed with Ebola in West Africa (not pictured)