Danica Patrick and fuel-injected cars are just two of the exciting changes NASCAR has in store for us this racing season.
New advances in flameproof denim and snakeskin will finally allow drivers to dress the way they please
Lots of brand-new Kyles, Jeffs, and Travises
The emerging love triangle between Carl Edwards, Denny Hamlin, and Ryan Newman is among the most compelling storylines to come about in years
Cars redesigned to feature excitement-inducing new blind spots
Five-point safety belts now mandatory on all hound-dog seats
Jimmie Johnson has quietly, and somewhat sheepishly, asked that everyone call him ’James’ from now on
Hopefully someone will unfortunately and tragically die in an awesome huge marketable crash
All cars will be driven from the press box via remote control, increasing safety while freeing up drivers to make more appearances on behalf of sponsor