Last month, the Department of Homeland Security announced it was working with retailer Wal-Mart to help protect American towns. What policies is Wal-Mart instituting to make our communities safer?
In the bicycle section, sign must be hung that says, “Not to be used as getaway bicycle”
In addition to saying hello, greeters will ask if customers have recently had contact with citizens of Syria, Yemen, Iran, or Pakistan
Wal-Mart will become the sole retailer of Department of Homeland Security cosmetics
All tall, bearded Arabs seeking to fill insulin prescriptions must first fill out a questionnaire
Continuing to refuse to sell incendiary material such as Sheryl Crow’s self-titled album, Green Day’s 21st Century Breakdown, and George Carlin’s book When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
Hiding millimeter wave scanners right in front of high-traffic Tasmanian Devil T-shirt racks
Maintaining database of all customers who purchase spices cumin and turmeric
Making everyday prices even lower to drive the terrorists that much crazier!
