Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Inc., the company that owns the Rocky and James Bond franchises, the American International Pictures and United Artists libraries, and the MGM Casino, filed for bankruptcy in a New York court last week. Here are some of the reasons the entertainment giant went so far into debt:
1924–1936: Metro, too much cocaine; Goldwyn, too many pills; Mayer, too many commemorative plates
1968: While filming 2001: A Space Odyssey, Stanley Kubrick demands the monolith be repainted 28 times before he finds the right color
1976: MGM Grand actually has the loosest slots in town for six months
1978: Huge fucking shitstorm and the bastard lawyers take 20 percent
1984: Start buying a new lion for the logo every year instead of every other year
1987: Majority of Spaceballs is actually filmed in deep space
1993: Fans of Benny & Joon’s use of porkpie hats stumble upon Buster Keaton, begin watching Columbia Pictures films instead
2000: Everyone’s already seen Wizard Of Oz