Martin Shkreli Faces Rough Stay In Prison System Where Inmates Who Funded Hair Theft Are Lowest Caste

BROOKLYN, NY—Explaining that the prisoners dole out their own form of brutal justice, prison officials at the Metropolitan Detention Center told reporters Thursday that Martin Shkreli faces a rough stay in a system where inmates who funded hair theft are considered the lowest caste. “As soon as word spreads you’re in here for soliciting stolen hair, you’ve got a target on your back,” said prison warden Joe Ferrero, noting that most inmates see someone like the former pharmaceutical company CEO, who offered $5,000 cash in exchange for procuring one of Hillary Clinton’s hairs, as “the scum of the earth.” “The showers, the yard, even their own cell at night—these hair-bounty guys aren’t safe anywhere. Shkreli’s life will be a living hell. He’ll be lucky if they don’t slit his throat in a week.” Ferrero went on to say that while he was not proud of the fact, many guards were known to turn a blind eye to the torment of notorious hair collectors such as Shkreli.