Elvis Costello Poster Starting To Suspect It Will Never Be Framed

ATHENS, GA—Figuring it would have happened by now if it was ever going to, an Elvis Costello poster reportedly started to suspect Tuesday that it will ultimately never be framed. “I’ve been up here like six months and still nothing—I’m worried the guy who owns me has just gotten used to seeing me this way,” said the poster of the British singer-songwriter, admitting to reporters he was losing hope that the adhesive on its four corners was merely a temporary setup until the frame was purchased. “When he moved to another apartment back in June, I thought that might remind him of his original plan to have me framed, but he just stuck me on a brand-new wall. Oh well, it’s not like Bowie’s framed, and he’s been around way longer than I have.” At press time, the poster hoped its owner would frame it after one of its corners detached from the wall but could only sigh when it was smoothed back into place with an extra piece of sticky tack.