As it continues to be a hot-button issue for lawmakers, here are the cases for and against allowing prayer in public schools:
FOR
Students’ vocabulary expanded to include “tresspasses,” “apostolic,” “prodigal,” “fiery wrath”
Genuflecting satisfies daily physical activity requirement
Hypocritical for schools to ban prayer while promoting secular magic such as chemistry and earth science
Might stave off God’s righteous annihilation of America a little longer
Gives teachers one goddamn minute of peace and quiet
AGAINST
Mandated prayer creates hostile environment for the hellbound
Time spent mindlessly regurgitating invocations could be spent mindlessly regurgitating standardized test material
Irresponsible to trust untrained children with the immense, fearsome power of prayer
Underfunded schools lack resources to provide every student with own rattlesnake to handle
Would require some real constitutional gymnastics to exclude non-Christian prayers
