Hillary Clinton Relaxing Before Debate With Few Hours Of Debate Practice

GOFFSTOWN, NH—Describing it as a much-needed escape from the hype and pressure surrounding the event, aides from Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign confirmed that the candidate has been taking it easy and kicking back ahead of Saturday’s Democratic debate with a few hours of intensive debate practice. “Secretary Clinton knows how important it is to feel relaxed and refreshed tonight, so she’s using this time to unwind by running repeatedly through each of Bernie Sanders’ main talking points and her rebuttals for every single one of them,” said campaign chairman John Podesta, adding that after a week of nonstop campaigning across the Midwest, Clinton was clearly enjoying her time off by mellowing out and rehearsing statistics about gun violence, unemployment, and illegal immigration while standing perfectly poised and attentive. “Taking a deep breath, putting up her feet, and just sparring on campaign finance reform and answering rapid-fire questions from our foreign policy prep team is what she really needs right now. It’s been great to see her just veg out like this.” At press time, Clinton had closed her eyes and sat back in her green room as she listened to a playlist of every one of Martin O’Malley’s media appearances on her iPod.