Email From Mom Sent At 5:32 A.M.

DENVER—After waking up and finding the message waiting on his computer, local man Drew Swanson confirmed to reporters Thursday that his mother had sent him an email at 5:32 a.m. “God, she sent this thing at 5:30 in the morning? Wow,” said Swanson, who rose from bed and turned on his computer at 9:05 to discover the correspondence from his mother buried among a large quantity of spam messages and automatically scheduled mailing list updates. “It’s not even like it’s an urgent email or anything. She just wanted to know what I want for my birthday. And when you think about it, this means she woke up, got ready for the day, and then sat down at her computer and wrote the email, which means she probably got up at least a half hour before sending this thing. Jeez, Mom.” At press time, Swanson had reportedly responded to the email, only to be completely baffled when his mother replied with a follow-up question about his Memorial Day plans less than 15 seconds later.