Detroit Pistons JumboTron Not Even Trying Anymore

AUBURN HILLS, MI—Making flippant remarks about the game such as “BASKETBALL GAME HAPPENING NOW” and “WHO REALLY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT ANY OF THIS?” the Detroit Pistons’ JumboTron has reportedly stopped trying to pretend to care about the team this season. “SOMEONE IS ON DEFENSE AND SOMEONE IS ON OFFENSE,” the on-screen text said during the second quarter of Friday’s game against the Milwaukee Bucks. “FANS! GET UP ON YOUR FEET! THEN WALK OUT OF HERE AND GO DO SOMETHING WORTHWHILE WITH YOUR NIGHT.” After showing some highlights from the 2004 championship team, the JumboTron said, “THIS IS JUST DEPRESSING,” and then turned itself off completely at halftime, only to return in the game’s closing minutes to show a couple of funny dog videos from YouTube.