Suspension Of Disbelief Goes Unrewarded

SCHAUMBURG, IL—Summoned in an effort to enjoy a two-hour feature film, 33-year-old Geoffrey Spalding’s willing suspension of disbelief reportedly went unrewarded Saturday. “It wasn’t easy, but I held up my end of the deal,” Spalding said of the mental effort he put forth to accept the invented premises of a fictional world and temporarily disregard their implausibility. “What do I get in return? A thoughtful exploration of our inward nature transferred to an imaginative context? A semblance of truth confronted through a skillful narrative process? Nope, I don’t get shit.” Spalding added that if he could be enraptured by a rat who aspires to be a chef and a man who ages backward, then being entertained by a young ballet dancer discovering her dark side should have been a breeze.