NBA Receives Shipment Of Fresh Ankles

NEW YORK—Only a few weeks away from running out of its last batch, the NBA finally received on Monday the 40-pound crate of ankles it had been waiting for. “Players’ ankles start to get sore right around this time every year,” said Commissioner David Stern, who unwrapped a brand-new ankle and tested it out by bending it back and forth. “Ah, looks like this one is going to Kobe Bryant. He’s been calling me every day asking if his new ankle has come in.” Houston Rockets center Yao Ming was reportedly among the first to request some new ankles, but once again was turned away after the league explained that they don’t make them in his size and color.