Coach Has Difficulty Describing What Sort Of Win That Was

ORLANDO, FL—Following his team’s 89-72 victory over the Memphis Grizzlies Monday, Orlando Magic head coach Stan Van Gundy struggled to characterize the victory at a postgame press conference, saying that the win was not emotional, dominating, close, or important. “You really couldn’t call this an ugly win, since we outscored them in every quarter, but it certainly wasn’t a good win, either, because we played a little sloppy early on and made a number of mistakes,” said Van Gundy, who also ruled out the win being either easy, or tough, or having made some sort of statement to the rest of the league. “And it definitely wasn’t a must-win. With 72 games remaining this season, it isn’t going to help or hurt our playoff prospects. It just sort of was.” Grizzlies head coach Lionel Hollins, however, instantly confirmed that his team’s defeat was “another piece of shit loss.”