Bills Impressed By Quality Of Toilet Paper In Visitors' Locker Room

GREEN BAY, WI—Bills players were reportedly impressed by the quality of toilet paper in the visitors’ locker room at Lambeau Field Sunday, enthusiastically admiring the bathroom tissue’s durability, absorbency, and softness. “Wow, fancy,” said running back Marshawn Lynch, gently rubbing a sheet across his left cheekbone. “They definitely don’t scrimp around here. I hate the stuff our GM gets. It’s really thin and rough and it hurts.” Lynch reportedly urged his teammates to stuff their bags with the toilet paper before leaving the stadium.