Batting Doughnut Creator Still On Cutting Edge Of Making-Bats-Feel-Lighter-Than-They-Are-For-A-Few-Seconds Technology

ST. LOUIS—At a press conference Wednesday, James Santangeli, inventor of the 16-oz. batting doughnut, assured reporters, baseball players, and general weight enthusiasts that he and his team of engineers continued to lead the way in the field of using something heavy to make something else feel briefly lighter by comparison. “We’ve got some exciting new doughnuts coming out, including a blue one that that makes the bat feel 0.1-oz. lighter for about 0.3 seconds longer,” said Santangeli, adding that a typical batting doughnut makes a bat feel lighter for 8.74 seconds. “We’re also working on a green model, a yellow model, a striped model, and even a purple one for softball. When it comes to doughnut-shaped weights and their important role in the heaviness-displacement paradigm, none of our competitors even come close.” Santangeli admitted that his firm has also experimented with a reverse weight that would make bats feel heavier, but it tested poorly with players.