Bitchy Girlfriend Just Asking For Anne Hathaway To Swoop In, Steal Man Away

ST. CLOUD, MN—According to concerned sources, Jill Sagert, 29—a prissy, uptight lawyer who doesn’t realize what a great guy her boyfriend Rich is—might as well be begging actress Anne Hathaway to walk into his life and scoop him right up. “Jill better stop acting like such a prim little bitch and start taking an interest in Rich’s music, or that gorgeous A-list celebrity is going to win his heart when he least expects it,” friend Diane Lineman said. “She better hope Rich never bumps into Anne Hathaway at a bookstore, because once they get over their initial dislike of each other and are forced to overcome some obstacle together, they will undoubtedly realize they’re a perfect match.” Others close to Sagert said that, unless she wisens up soon, she will probably end up with that sleaze ball Colin Farrell.