Man Finally Unpauses 'Super Mario Bros.' After 18 Years Of Chores

REYNARD, NV—Nearly two decades after suspending the game to clean the bathroom and mow the front yard, Nevada resident Dennis Rigali, 29, finally resumed the Super Mario Bros. adventure he started in 1991. “My mom would not get off my back until I did all my laundry, and then I had all this stupid school work I had to finish,” Rigali said regarding his decision to leave the game paused until after he picked up his room, graduated from college, and dated a woman for 7 years. “Aw, man. The princess is at the other castle?” As of press time, Rigali had not located former next-door neighbor Jeff Isola to take his turn as Luigi.