WaMu Files For ChapLev

SEATTS—Citing fallout from the sub-p mortgage disast, WaMu was forced to file for ChapLev this past Septems. “We tried to negosh our way out of total insolves, but we’re in a pretty bad resesh,” WaMu spokesperson William “Dubs” McClough said. “This could turn into full-on economic depresh. It’s totes ridic.” Dubs went on to add that all of the bank’s liabilities, including deposits, covered bonds, and other secured debt, would be assumed by JP-Morgan Chase—with the exception of unsecured senior debt, which is prioritized ahead of all other subordinated debts in the event of default— thus protecting depositors and limiting insurance liability to the FDIC.