Sports Community Mourns Death Of Old Bald White Man With Glasses

NEW YORK—Coaches, current and former players, reporters, and a variety of prominent figures in the sports community gathered Wednesday to mourn the death of an old bald white man with glasses, commemorating his life and his incredible impact on the world of sports. “He did it for the love of the game, and the game loved him back,” legendary sportswriter Bud Collins said of the elder statesman, whose bespectacled face and shining cranium became a fixture in the sports sections of well-respected newspapers such as The New York Times and The Washington Post. “We will never see his bald, white, glasses-wearing like again.” A bronze statue of the old bald white man with glasses will be erected in front of his alma mater’s legendary stadium.