Cool McCain Supporter Wears 'McCain 2000' Shirt To Campaign Speech

COLUMBUS, OH—According to attendees at a rally held in Columbus’ Capitol Theatre Monday, a John McCain supporter in his early 30s was envied and admired by onlookers for wearing an original navy blue “McCain 2000” T-shirt with a peeling logo, frayed neckline, and several holes in the sleeves. “When I saw his shirt, I was like, ’No way! That’s totally vintage!’” said 24-year-old David Bennett, noting that it was not a pre-distressed “McCain 2000” shirt like the ones available at Urban Outfitters. “This guy’s been a McCain fan since the beginning. He said the campaign kickoff speech in Nashua in ’99 was fucking mind-blowing.” Sources reported that the hip McCain backer knew all the words to the Arizona senator’s speeches, and silently mouthed McCain’s entire energy policy while waving a cigarette lighter.