Buttery Goodness Now America's Top Domestic Product

WASHINGTON, DC—New data from the U.S. Commerce Department show that rich, buttery goodness beat out automobiles, timber, and crispety-crunchitiness as the country’s most valuable commodity in fiscal year 2006. “Soaring demand among consumers for the melt- in-your-mouth sensation of buttery goodness, combined with increasing production efficiency, meant that more then 32 million tons were manufactured and consumed last year,” said Commerce Secretary Carlos Gutierrez, who noted that sales of chewy, double-stuffed deliciousness stagnated in this same period due to inflation and regional shortages of cream filling. Domestic orders for farm machinery, icy-cool mint, and computer components also fell last year.