Area Man Just Ruined It For Everyone

MORGANTOWN, WV—Area resident Adam Poole just had to go and ruin it for everyone Wednesday after taking advantage of a long-standing privilege that, until he came along, everybody respected enough not to exploit. “We had it so good—everyone really appreciated the amount of leeway we were given, and now, because of this guy, we all have to suffer,” said Andrew Schechter, who joined his peers in a long, icy glare at Poole moments after the honor had been revoked. “He says we’re overreacting, but he hasn’t been here long enough to understand what it was like before. If he thinks our silent treatment is tough, wait until we start talking about him like he isn’t even here.” Though Poole said he was unaware he was taking advantage of anything, his peers informed him that he really just should have known better.