Move To Houseboat Regretted By Third Day

TARPON SPRINGS, FL—Semi-retired attorney George Schulman, 62, is already expressing remorse over his move into a Suncruiser 360 houseboat last Saturday. “I thought it would be more like MacGyver or, you know, Simon & Simon. But it’s just sort of boring,” Schulman told reporters Monday. “The whole marina reeks of old fish, and I’m gonna kill somebody if I hear another goddamn Jimmy Buffett song blaring from that oyster bar over by the dock.” Schulman went on to express regret about spending more than $400 on Hawaiian-print shirts.