Swimsuit Skirt Conceals Hideous Thigh Region

HUNTINGTON BEACH, CA—A swimsuit skirt successfully concealed more than six inches of upper thigh Monday, sparing hundreds of beachgoers from the sight of the mountains of hideous, cellulite-riddled flesh lurking beneath it. “That was a close one,” said one non-witnessing beachgoer. “Thank goodness for that swimsuit skirt. Without it, we’d all have been done for.”