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Castaway Ate Turtles, Birds While Stranded 13 Months At Sea

A man calling himself Jose Salvador Alvarenga washed ashore in the Marshall Islands this week after allegedly being lost over a year at sea, explaining that he survived by eating birds and turtles and drinking his own urine, though authorities are still trying to verify his claims. What do you think?

Dwier Ottley • Unemployed

“Big deal. I ate turtles and drank my own urine for 13 months without ever stepping foot outside my house.”

Dwier Ottley • Unemployed

Maya Reid • Pearl Restorer

“See, this is exactly why I never go swimming without a knapsack full of hot dogs and Gatorade.”

Maya Reid • Pearl Restorer

Frank Kieferle • Claims Adjuster

“Sometimes I wish I could get away from it all for a year and have authorities check up on my story.”

Frank Kieferle • Claims Adjuster