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Obese Boy Scouts Banned From National Jamboree

Boy Scouts were required to undergo a body mass index screening to attend this week’s National Scout Jamboree, with the most obese being barred from the 10-day gathering, which features such physical activities as hiking, kayaking, and zip-lining. What do you think?

Gabrielle Pacheco • Pulpwood Cutter

“Without question the most important civil rights case of the week.”

Gabrielle Pacheco • Pulpwood Cutter

Wolfgang Horan • Milliner

“Screening? Can’t you just look at them and tell?”

Wolfgang Horan • Milliner

Leon Kekai • Newscaster

“I don’t know why anyone’s surprised. The National Scout Jamboree was, is, and always will be a glorified beauty contest.”

Leon Kekai • Newscaster