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'Onion' Snubbed By Pulitzers

This year, the Pulitzer Board has once again neglected to bestow an award upon The Onion. What do you think?

Tina Gladstone • Systems Analyst

“You too? Man, those guys are dicks to everybody.”

Tina Gladstone • Systems Analyst

Brendan Hoppus • Train Clerk

“If I know the Pulitzer Board, they are just drawing out the process to heighten the suspense. The Pulitzer Board thrives on adrenaline.”

Brendan Hoppus • Train Clerk

Frederick Malina • Unemployed

“Of course they did. The Pulitzer is a prize for third-rate, unrefined journalistic excrement masquerading as enlightened commentary, correct? How else does George Will have one?”

Frederick Malina • Unemployed