73-Year-Old Billie Eilish Breaks Silence To Discuss Ravages Of Fame In Interview From Hermetically Sealed Mansion

LOS ANGELES—In a rare public appearance from the reclusive artist, Billie Eilish, 73, broke her silence Friday to discuss the ravages of fame in an interview from her hermetically sealed mansion. “The musician lifestyle is pretty rough, and it can take one hell of a toll on your body,” the septuagenarian singer and songwriter told reporters from her completely sterilized and germ-free home, as her gnarled fingers trembled while reaching for a container of glaucoma medication. “Yes, I got to be a superstar, but when you get to my age, you begin to wonder if it was worth all the pain and agony. Seems like only yesterday I was a carefree 16-year-old, but look at me now—I’m half-blind, I can barely stand, and my bones are as fragile as peanut brittle.” At press time, the 98-year-old Eilish had passed away quietly in her sleep.