35-Year-Old Unsure Why He Underwhelmed By First-Place Win In Magic: The Gathering Tournament

SEATTLE—Saying he lacked any sense of personal fulfillment following the victory, local 35-year-old Jason Prasker reported Thursday that he was unsure why he felt so underwhelmed by his first-place win in a regional Magic: The Gathering tournament. “Yeah, it’s strange—I worked for this for years, and yet somehow, taking home this trophy today, I feel kind of empty inside,” a visibly perplexed Prasker said as he packed his Magic deck back into its custom carrying case, adding that he did not understand why his defeat of everyone in the conference center at a trading-card game involving wizards and goblins seemed devoid of any great meaning. “It’s weird. You’d think after a profound achievement like this, I’d feel content with my life. Maybe if I win another tournament, then I’ll truly be happy?” Multiple sources later described the situation as unfortunate, noting that with the tournament victory, Prasker had, in fact, realized his full potential as a human being.