Young Knicks Player Keeps Asking About Patrick Ewing

NEW YORK—Sources within the New York Knicks organization report that outspoken Knicks guard Nate Robinson continues to ask pressing questions concerning the whereabouts of “the supposed big-time legend” Patrick Ewing during team practices, in-game timeouts, and even personal phone calls to Knicks coach Isiah Thomas. “If this guy’s so good, if he’s such a Knicks institution, how come he never shows up to practice, or even regular-season games, like the rest of us do?” Robinson asked during lay-up drills the day after a crushing defeat by the Detroit Pistons. “I mean, we really could have used a seven-foot-tall, 11-time All-Star against Shaq last week, am I right? Couldn’t have hurt, could it?” Robinson’s obsession may have reached a crisis point earlier this week when, after noticing Ewing’s jersey hanging from the ceiling at Madison Square Garden, Robinson took possession of it and chased a seven-foot-tall man around New York City, eventually realizing he had apprehended a vacationing Dikembe Mutombo.