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Xi Jinping Warns Of Second Coronavirus Wave Likely To Disappear Thousands Of Hong Kong Residents

BEIJING—In an effort to prepare Chinese citizens for the ongoing pandemic, President Xi Jinping struck a dour note Friday, warning that a second wave of coronavirus had the potential to disappear thousands of Hong Kong residents. “If Coronavirus cases begin to spike again, we all have to be ready for a tragic reality in which literally thousands of Hongkongers could completely vanish off the map without a trace,” said Xi Jinping, urging citizens to do their part by refraining from high-risk activities such as protesting outdoors or engaging in mass demonstrations of any kind. “We know that certain communities, such as journalists and human rights activists, will be particularly vulnerable in this second wave, but it’s unfortunately a possibility for anyone living in Hong Kong. And while we expect the complete obliteration of a person’s former identity to primarily affect adults, we know that there could be mysterious disappearances of children as young as 12.” Xi Jinping went on to recommend that Hong Kong residents do their part to defend against the second wave of coronavirus by swearing absolute fealty to the Chinese government.




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper