As corporations become more comfortable expressing political positions, conservatives have resorted to boycotts in an effort to protect their most valued beliefs. Here are the top “woke” brands that right-leaning patriots should never purchase.
American Girl
The doll company doesn’t sell a single dress that fits an AR-15.
Shipt
Sends American packages to foreign countries.
Logo TV
Yep, them too. Guess you’re going to find somewhere else to stream Gay Chorus Deep South.
Fancy Feast
There’s just something suspiciously homosexual about that long-haired white cat.
Nutella
Patented recipe contains puberty blockers.
Trump Hotels
Integrated.
NPR
All trusted reporters should have strong American names like John Washington or Walter Building.
7/11 On The Corner Of Adams And Racine
A Black man was seen buying a box of Cheez-Its here. Doesn’t get any woker than that.
Pringles
A cylinder is the wokest shape.
Mary Kay
This disgusting brand destroys family values by promoting the idea that women should be allowed to get caught up in pyramid schemes.
Shein
The fast-fashion retailer offers equal abuse for all its sweatshop workers.
NFL
The NFL boldly celebrated LGBTQ+ History Month, and the organization’s continued support of domestic violence just isn’t enough to make up for it.
Marvel Films
The Marvel film franchise has recently introduced the concept of the multiverse, even though a universe should only be between one man and one woman according to the Bible.
TransNational Bank
What happened to all of the good old-fashioned cis-national banks?
Heinz Ketchup
True patriots do not dress their burgers with woke condiments like ketchup, but with the blood of freshly slaughtered antifa.
Tinder Platinum
Real red-blooded American men meet their wives while prowling outside local high schools.
Gun
Gun woke? No, no, no, gun can’t be woke… No! Gun good, right? RIGHT? Gun not woke, please… PLEASE say gun not woke… GUN. NOT. WOKE????
Chick-fil-A
What kind of modern hedonists don’t believe in serving chicken on the holiest of days?
Western Medicine
All medical practice has been infiltrated by the deep state since the 5th century BC, when Hippocrates established the profession of diagnosing and treating illnesses in order to emasculate real men.
Subway
True patriots will refuse to eat Subway sandwiches until alpha king Jared Fogle is released from jail.
