Withdrawal From Afghanistan Ends Longest Media Farce In U.S. History

KABUL, AFGHANISTAN—As reporters, news crews, and pundits rushed to evacuate from Hamid Karzai International Airport, the United States completed its withdrawal from Afghanistan Monday, thereby marking the end to the longest media farce in American history. “Today, 20 years after the first invasion, we are finally concluding our nation’s longest-ever campaign of media hot air and bullshit punditry,” said Georgetown University historian Alan Hawthorne, adding that the media’s mission to sell the American public on the essentially impossible goal of establishing a self-sufficient government in Afghanistan had dragged on through two decades, four presidents, and three generations of journalists. “Ever since the attacks on September 11, the U.S. media machine has sacrificed countless hours of prime-time coverage to validate the idea that we could accomplish something of lasting value to Afghanistan, struggling valiantly against common sense and any inkling of skepticism toward the policy establishment. Of course, America’s newspapers engaged in similar campaigns in Vietnam, Korea, and Iraq. But none lasted so long, and few mischaracterized the situation so thoroughly to the American people.” Hawthorne went on to add that despite having withdrawn from the occupation, the damage the U.S. media did to the reputation of journalists everywhere could last for generations.