Winter Storm Threatens Homeless Man’s Plans To Survive Over Thanksgiving

SYRACUSE, NY—Following reports of a severe winter storm system threatening to pummel several areas of the nation’s Northeast, Syracuse-area homeless citizen Randall Limpkin told reporters today the impending storm could very well threaten his plans to survive over Thanksgiving. “They said the storm’s supposed to be at its worst on Wednesday, which is definitely going to completely disrupt my plan of not freezing to death on a barren city street during the holiday weekend,” said Limpkin, adding that he had been planning as early as August to live over Thanksgiving. “I mean, I was really looking forward to being alive this Thanksgiving, but I guess with this weather you can’t really plan to not die, you know?” At press time, Limpkin told reporters that, regardless of what happened, he was definitely not planning on surviving over Christmas.