Here is a guide to the major speakers who will be addressing attendees on the final night of the 2016 Republican National Convention:
Fran Tarkenton (Former NFL Quarterback)
The pro football Hall of Famer will be able to connect with the audience over a shared yearning for a past you can never return to
Mary Fallin (Governor, Oklahoma)
The conservative politician has been tasked with filling in any anti-gay points Mike Pence missed during Wednesday night’s speech
Reince Priebus (Chairman, Republican National Committee)
Will read one by one the names of GOP members allowed to live beyond the 2016 general election
Jerry Falwell Jr. (President, Liberty University)
The ultra-conservative evangelical leader will give a voice and representation to moderates in the Republican Party
John Miller (Former Spokesman, Trump Corporation)
The longtime publicist will touch on his time performing public relations for the GOP nominee’s corporation in the early ’90s
Peter Thiel (Co-Founder And Former CEO, PayPal)
The tech industry venture capitalist will do his best to refute the stereotype that all Silicon Valley entrepreneurs are necessarily open-minded, forward-looking individuals
Tom Barrack (CEO, Colony Capital)
Many question what possible relevant political beliefs a billionaire real estate investor like Barrack could offer to the nation at large
Ivanka Trump (Daughter Of Donald Trump)
The oldest Trump daughter is expected to take advantage of this speaking opportunity to lay out her national security qualifications for a potential appointment as Secretary of Defense
Donald Trump (Republican Presidential Nominee)
Only a hopelessly naïve buffoon would read this space seeking any sort of informed prediction of what will be said or done tonight
