What To Expect From Taylor Swift’s Upcoming Album

Taylor Swift will release her first album in over two years on November 10, and the album’s first two singles have already prompted intense speculation. Here’s what to expect from Reputation.


A raw, honest collaboration with Drake about the benefits of Apple Music


Full-fledged attack on Mrs. Rosen, an English teacher that once gave Swift a B on an essay


A few solid tips for relieving swollen feet and ankles


An undeniably catchy song that will be disliked by millions of liars


Heart-wrenching ballad about a mysterious brown delivery truck that leaves just as fast as it came


Drums


A triumphant ode to feminism and female friendship as a brand strategy


At least three songs recorded in front of a live audience at Folsom State Prison


Bonus harmonies available exclusively at Target


12-15 pretty okay tracks that will each become one of the most successful songs of all time




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper