What Lessons America Can Learn From This Election Cycle

With the 2016 presidential election now concluded after 18 months, Americans can look back for lessons on how to move forward as a nation. Here’s what the nation can learn from this election cycle:


How the old elementary school is holding up


It’s possible to start from great wealth and privilege and rise to the highest office in the land


Americans have a great capacity for forgiveness when it comes to sexual assault


Your father/son/brother/mother/daughter/uncle/aunt is a fucking moron


Never pick up the phone from an unknown number within six months of Election Day


Mankind is a fickle creature whose intentions are often contradictory and harmful to the self


Gary Johnson was the governor of New Mexico


There’s a slight chance America is not yet a post-racial society


For as little as $3, you can receive unwanted emails every day indefinitely


That while conservative fiscal reform through spending restraint and privatization could theoretically lead to economic growth, a more liberal program of tax relief for impoverished citizens, restricting corporate inversions, and enforcing exit taxes on businesses operating abroad also has reason for implementation


It’s only a matter of time until Eric Trump turns 35


You don’t want to find out who else lives in this country




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper