Vivek Ramaswamy, a 37-year-old entrepreneur and self-proclaimed nationalist, made waves by launching his campaign for the 2024 Republican presidential primary. The Onion asked voters how they felt about the GOP candidate, and this is what they said.
Cody Browning, Sales Associate
“Like a lot of MAGA conservatives, I’m torn between voting for him and shrieking at him for planning 9/11.”
Gus Connor, High School Principal
“I like him, but he’s too young. I think he should run again in 70 to 80 years.”
Kerry Prescott, Train Conductor
“Sorry, but I won’t vote for a Black guy.”
Rosie Scharf, Assistant
“If nothing else, he might be the guy who makes Mike Pence come in eighth instead of seventh.”
Ken Brewer, Plumber
“What has become of my beloved white supremacy?”
Trina Park, Business Owner
“As the former CEO of a drug company, you know he has the public’s best interests at heart.”
Enrique Tarrio, Former Proud Boys Chairman
“Its nice to see other brown people rise to the top of traditionally white-dominated organizations.”
June McBride, Cashier
“I, like most Americans, prefer my fearmongering in an incoherent-geriatric-rambling flavor.”
Mark Rowan, Lab Assistant
“I agree with him completely about how our country and our culture is being stolen by people like him.”
Kristina Russell, Paramedic
“He’s going to need to run a few more business ventures into the ground before he’s qualified to be president.”
Alice Weisz, Security Guard
“I see him on TV a lot and on the internet, and he’s all over my feed too. It’s a real savvy media strategy.”
Ted Harper, Influencer
“As a former pharmaceutical executive, he sounds like he can get me a Klonopin prescription.”
Yusef Khan, Receptionist
“Finally, a Republican brave enough to complain about wokeness.”
Mary Madison, Nurse
“I think he would make a great vice-presidential sacrifice at the next insurrection.”
Nancy Connelly, Bank Teller
“I like that if I vote for him people can’t call me racist.”
Daniel Cisneros, Construction Inspector
“He’s gonna have to say a lot more fucked-up shit if he wants me to fly his campaign flag on my pickup truck.”
Javier Moreno, Farmer
“Sorry, but at this point, every name that isn’t Donald Trump just sounds like high-pitched white noise to me.”
