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Vigilante Judge Takes Law Into Own Hands

CHEYENNE, WY—Circuit Court Judge Cedric Traynor, the notorious, media-dubbed “Vigilante Judge,” took the law into his own hands once again Tuesday, sentencing convicted arsonist Dennis Rebach to 15 years in prison. “You will respect my judgment,” Traynor said, “for I am the law.” Traynor has singlehandedly judged the fate of more than 3,000 men over the past 20 years.




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper