Season 11 of hit reality show Vanderpump Rules premiered Tuesday, finally giving fans a glimpse into the cast’s lives after a cheating scandal rocked the finale of Season 10. With the Bravo mega-hit bigger than ever and the drama only just getting started, here are a few things you should avoid saying in conversations with Pump fans.
“Which cast member is your favorite?”
An impossible query. You may as well ask which star in the heavens is most beautiful or which snowflake in a field of white is most unique. But probably Stassi.
“I like
Who gives a shit about your fucking boat, we’re talkin bout da ’Pump!
“Tom Sandoval and Raquel Leviss say they’re broken up.”
They only said that so fans would stop going through Raquel’s trash—at least according to that note in her trash.
“I also enjoy
But if you already watch it, how can they spend the next hour convincing you to watch Vanderpump Rules?
“Hey, why don’t you pause that and tuck the kids into bed with me?”
After she’s done comparing the extended reunion episode on Peacock to the one that aired on Bravo—and checking that against the Reddit thread.
“China’s crackdown on its tech sector is a persistent drag on their economy that will affect long-term competitiveness.”
Any true Vanderpump Rules fan knows that China’s oversaturated real estate market is the real problem and will promptly shut you down.
“You know reality TV is all scripted right?”
Do you like being like this? Like does it bring you genuine joy, or can you just not help yourself?
“Which one is the kind of vacant-looking, big-eyed brunette one?”
That is nowhere near specific enough.
“The Dutch are a dodgy and erratic people.”
Nothing makes a Vanderpump fan angrier than the constant attacks on Lisa’s Dutch heritage.
“Doctor, can you focus on my surgery?”
No, there’s a TV in the operating room for a reason.
“Charli sometimes comes off as a bit cold and stiff.”
That’s only because she’s been dead for 10 months.
“Things have gone downhill since Pope Francis left the main cast in the third season.”
We all loved the Vatican years, but we have to move on.
“How was your weekend?”
They are going to talk about Tom Sandoval.
“I slept with your husband, just like Raquel and Tom on the show.”
Get your facts straight. Ariana and Tom were life partners who owned a home together, but never married.
“I, too, enjoy rich people’s made-up problems.”
Wow, it is SO much more than that.
“I bet Katie is secretly a very nice person and her horrible, screeching persona is just an act.”
Don’t say that! She’s a bitch!
“When I went to the restaurant, Scheana Shay threw a goat cheese ball at me and then added a 450% gratuity to my bill.”
You’re so lucky.
“I work in a restaurant, too.”
Way to try to steal the spotlight, you fucking bitch.
