Vacationing Woman Asks Friend To Assume Identity For Next Couple Weeks

CHICAGO—In an effort to ensure everything at home would be taken care of while she was on vacation, local woman Becca Hayworth, 29, reportedly asked Monday if a friend would mind coming by and assuming her identity for the next couple weeks. “If you could just stop by in the mornings, put on my clothes, and attend all of my work and social functions until I get back, I’d really appreciate it,” said Hayworth, handing the friend a set of spare keys and a list of instructions about how to do her hair and makeup so the neighbors wouldn’t be able to tell she was someone else when she went out to get the mail. “Everything is pretty self-explanatory, like watering my plants and, if anybody tries to talk to you, feigning laryngitis so your voice doesn’t give you away. Let’s see, what else… Oh, there’s a false nose and chin in the bathroom. Obviously, feel free to help yourself to anything in my bank account. And if it’s not too much trouble to check in on my boyfriend, that would be super helpful—just sleep with him once or twice before I get back. I definitely owe you one!” At press time, sources confirmed the friend was being drilled by Hayworth on how to imitate her voice so the friend’s cover wouldn’t be blown if she needed to scream for help.