Has A High Opinion Of Themselves
If your romantic partner isn’t constantly full of self-loathing to the point that they can barely function, it’s a sign you may be dealing with a seriously deranged individual.
They Want Kids
The desire to pass on their own DNA into offspring to potentially exist in the gene pool long after their death is classic toxic, self-obsessed behavior.
They Look You In The Eyes During Sex
Narcissists will often do this so they can catch a glimpse of their own reflection in your eyes.
They Never Apologize
Granted they didn’t do anything wrong, but still.
Charm
Narcissists are masters at winning people over for their own selfish reasons, so if you find yourself feeling content in your relationship, you should leave before your manipulating partner can sink their teeth even deeper.
They’re Super Controlling
Be on the lookout for a romantic partner trying to control you by insisting you date them exclusively, and, in extreme cases, even take their last name and help raise their children.
You’re Dating A Musician, Artist, Or Writer
Creative types—as well as skilled laborers like plumbers and electricians, and craftspeople, and valets, plus bartenders, real estate agents, administrative assistants, and unemployed people—have a tendency to gain an inflated ego when the only person around to compare themselves to is you.
They Kill Every Blooming Flower Because It Dares Compete With Their Beauty
If you’ve been conscripted into service to destroy each rose and orchid for its sin of youthful allure, take a step back and ask yourself if this is really what you want out of a relationship.
Nothing Is Ever Their Fault
If you’re always blamed for all of the problems in your relationship, you’re either dating a narcissist or you’re just a massive fuckup.
Always Grooming
Sure, people could argue that as a human you technically have the upper hand in this interspecies relationship—but you deserve to be treated with respect, regardless of who or what you’re dating.
They Don’t Acknowledge You When You Talk,
If they can’t so much as acknowledge your existence despite six months of yelling, “Hello I’m right here!” they definitely have some mental issues that need to be worked out.
Carly Simon Has A Song About Him
You love your boyfriend, Hollywood screen legend and retired octogenarian Warren Beatty, more than anything in the world. Still, some red flags are too glaring to ignore, and it may be best in the long run for your mental health to leave.
You Are Required To Pledge Allegiance To The Banners Of Them That Cover Every Building At 10 A.M. Each Day
Healthy people don’t need entire nations to pledge their love to them in order to feel good about themselves.
They Don’t Have Any Long-Term Friends
But also, neither do you, so…
They Proposed To Themselves
You might not be a traditional couple, but if they get down on one knee and put the ring on their own finger, you definitely have a problem.
You Still Have To Go Through Their Agent
Even though you’ve been dating for over four years, you still have to text their agent if you want them to pick up dinner on the way home from work.
They Interrupt Your Endless Rants
You’re just three hours into your diatribe when your narcissist significant other just has to butt in so they can hear their own voice yet again.
You Are A Clone Specifically Engineered In A Lab To Look Exactly Like Them
If you were grown from a strand of their DNA in order for your partner to have sex with a replica of themselves? Huge red flag.
Starts Every Sentence With ‘Hello, Beautiful’ Followed Up By ‘No, I Was Talking To Me’
Not only is this behavior inappropriate and demeaning, but it gets pretty tedious 30 seconds into a conversation.
They Died After Falling In Love With Their Own Reflection In A Pool Of Water
It’s classic narcissistic behavior to become entranced with your own reflection and staring at it for the remainder of your life.
They Cut Out Photos Of Their Face And Tape Them Over Abe Lincoln’s Head On Your Allowance
While it’s generous of them to pay you your monthly $20 spousal salary in convenient $5 bills, it’s certainly a red flag that the only legal tender in their eyes is one that bears their likeness.
Not Inviting You To Your Wedding
Narcissists will dominate a relationship by making every occasion about them and will never forgive you for showing up at the chapel unwanted and ruining the happiest day of their life.
They Make You Read Them The Fable Of Narcissus Nightly
What’s worse, they keep interrupting with “That’s me! This is about me!”
