Under Armour Launches New Workout Attire For Women Evading Men Who Wear Under Armour

BALTIMORE—In an effort to tap into a large, underserved market, Under Armour launched a new line of workout attire Tuesday aimed at women who need to evade men wearing Under Armour. “We know the kind of speed our athletes need to escape these men,” said spokesperson Elaine Jennings, touting the line’s breathable, lightweight fabric and moisture-wicking technology as the perfect combination to outrun their male customer base. “Women will have no trouble navigating around the gym, driving range, or running trail to avoid the unsolicited advances of men when they’re sporting this gear. We even threw a reflective UA logo to temporarily blind a guy in a pinch or attract the attention of bystanders. The men who wear Under Armour are fast, but with these sneakers and tights, you’ll be faster.” At press time, Under Armour teased a line of children’s workout attire for kids escaping parents who wear Under Armour.