UFC Fan Knows What All Those Guys' Names Are

KINGSPORT, TN—Sources confirmed Monday that area resident Kyle Nickerson apparently knows the actual names of all those guys in the UFC and that, to him, they don’t all sort of run together. “I know maybe four of those guys: Brock Lesnar, Kent Shamrock, Tito Ortiz, and the guy with the mohawk—but Kyle knows all of them, even the ones from that reality show,” Nickerson’s friend Eric Heijl told reporters, adding that Nickerson is also able to name the moves those guys use. “Sometimes two UFC guys will flash on the screen and Kyle will not only know their names, but know who they’ve fought in the past. Should I know who these people are? Is UFC such a big deal now that I should be able to identify a UFC fighter when I see one?” When reached for comment, Nickerson was reportedly watching a UFC match in which he not only knew the names of both competitors, but also what their records were.