Trump Vomits Immediately After Seeing Everyday Americans Up Close

ST. LOUIS—His face turning deathly pale and beads of cold sweat forming on his brow as he took his seat for the town hall forum at Washington University, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump reportedly vomited directly onto the debate stage Sunday night upon viewing everyday Americans up close. “Oh God, look at them—I think I’m gonna be sick,” said the visibly woozy and uncomfortable Trump, repeatedly pausing his introductory remarks to double over and retch uncontrollably as he looked out upon the dozens of average American men and women seated just a few feet from him. “Here it comes. Hurrghh, hurrrghh, huhhleeggah. Those faces—those horrible faces. Huuuhhhllghghh.” Trump was reportedly able to pull himself together after firmly shutting his eyes and keeping them closed for the duration of the debate.