Trump Solemnly Lays Wreath At Site Where He Would Have Died During Vietnam War If He Weren’t Rich

HANOI, VIETNAM—Tearing up as he described the courage he would have had no choice but to summon had he not been born into a life of luxury, President Trump reportedly took time Tuesday before the North Korea summit in Hanoi to travel south and lay a wreath at the spot where he would have died in the Vietnam War if he weren’t rich. “Today we recognize those who, like myself, would have been forced to make the ultimate sacrifice had they not come from wealthy families who could call in a favor from a doctor friend and get exempted from the draft,” said Trump, speaking for several minutes about the death he would have faced if he had been unable to afford an elite education and, instead of receiving college deferments, had been conscripted to fight in a conflict in which more than 58,000 Americans died. “I would have died bravely with my fellow soldiers right here in this field had I not had a father who could pull some strings and make sure I never had to do anything like that. So today, I reflect upon and honor all those who were able to avoid service, especially those who received a medical deferment from a podiatrist who rented office space from their dad.” Trump went on to announce that a new monument would be erected on the National Mall in Washington to honor all affluent survivors of the Vietnam draft.