Travel Channel Blows Its 'Bed And Breakfasts Of New England' Wad

GARRETT, MD—After airing four consecutive days of programming devoted to mulled cider, antique weather vanes, and changing foliage, the Travel Channel effectively blew its New- England-bed-and-breakfast wad Monday with 8 weeks of autumn still to go. “I guess we just got a little too worked up over these charming rustic retreats, and ended shooting our whole damn load,” said Travel Channel president Patrick Younge, admitting that for the rest of the season the network will rely primarily on warmed-over Bermuda and Bourdain. “The whole thing’s pretty embarrassing. I was sure we’d last a lot longer this year.” According to media analysts, no one has shit the bed this bad since the Weather Channel went balls out with its hurricane-season coverage in 2006.